[Open Assets] [v1.1.1] PANIC 1.1.1

best thing since canned bread

This is a troll mod, first and foremost. It is imperative that I tell you this, so the rest of this review makes sense. This mod is designed to INFURIATE you. There are dozens of intentionally bad design choices, all of which I believe were made with malice. I screamed at this hack multiple times, got called an idiot and comically snapped at someone, and basically lost my mind by the time I was done with this godforsaken thing.

Having said all that, I think this is the best troll hack ever.

I was infuriated, sure, but I still had fun throughout it all, somehow. The trolls were entertaining enough when they needed to be, and when they weren't entertaining enough, my friends were there to pick things up and keep me from going clinically insane.

If you want to play this mod, DO NOT play it alone. It will be the biggest mistake of your SRB2 career. Instead, get a couple friends to watch you play it in a Discord call and marvel at the utter bullshit contained within this hack as a group. If you go this alone, trust me, you will only experience pain.

If I had to give one part of this mod credit on its own, though, it would have to be Square Midas Zone. This zone gave me a brain aneurysm in the best possible way. There's a code to skip to zone 7 somewhere in the discussions tab, edit that to 9 and that should give you enough of a head start to be able to get there. Even if you don't have anyone to show this to, I feel like you owe it to yourself to experience Square Midas Zone. It's the single part of this mod I would dare to call immaculate.

Having experienced all of the game, including the bonus levels, I love this mod to death and I have no intent of playing it ever again. Ten out of ten.

this is a mess, I no like.

I'll be honest: I don't like this mod because to be fair they did have some good ideas with the jokes and memes it's just that it is way too confusing and it is just borderline unfair to play.
The backrooms level however was the best one.

Welp. I played the mod through with no cheats, and y'know what? It's not half bad. But then I realized, it's not half good (in some parts), either. I know that this was made as a joke and a part of me doesn't know whether or not to congratulate it for succeeding. So I'm going to point out the levels in the main campaign I liked and didn't like as much, along with some tips that may help beat them. (WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THE LEVEL PACK)

Square Rock 1: Fairly straightforward. Gives me Early SRB2 vibes in terms of design. Nothing too special.

Square Rock 2: A maze that forces you to use your head and find the buttons that unlock an exit or two. (Hint: It's the one with the THZ textures) It's not the worst maze in the pack, but it can give first timers some trouble.

Square Rock 3: Easier boss fight against Brak Eggman, but after beating it, the game tells you that you got the wrong exit.

The Fakeout: As the subtitle of the level says, it's simpler than you think. You'll get stuck in some places, but that's why I have to thank the creator(s) for infinite lives. (Hint: On the tiny ledge in the first room you start in, jump and thok to the other side.)

Brak's Bucking Feasechurger: Probably the best level in terms of difficulty and design. By the name, you'd expect to hate this, but no! It's actually pretty good (and funny, with the images section)! The platforming is fair, and the signs are pretty helpful. In a word: solid.

Invesigation: Aaaand we're back to tedious "level design." This level gives you an extra life for no reason at the start (which is ironic considering that it might take a lifetime to find an exit to this rather small stage). After that, the level consists of having to feel the walls for an exit. The signpost teleporters don't work (one of them can trap you in a nigh endless loop), the fake exits immediately kill you, and when you finally get transported to a different room (a blue one), you have to do the same thing again, but at a more disorientating place. The level overall isn't long, but that depends on if you know where to look.

London Zone 13: An okay level, but MAN it drags like Fang's tail on the ground. Speaking of dragging, 𝗗𝗢𝗡'𝗧 𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗛𝗢𝗥𝗥𝗜𝗕𝗟𝗘 𝗠𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗥𝗨𝗡𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚/𝗥𝗢𝗟𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗗𝗢𝗪𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗘𝗣 𝗛𝗜𝗟𝗟! The level's exit won't open until you take one of the big gargoyles and push it down that long... steep... tall.... hill... right on that pink button. Other than that, straightforward and surprisingly simple!

What Zone: One of the easiest levels of the pack. A simple puzzle here, a hidden button there, not too hard to figure out as long as you don't overthink the whole level.

Battlefield Zone (the Minecraft one): I gotta admit, the Smash Bros. fake-out was extremely hilarious! Oh, and the Minecraft recreation level was extremely impressive too. Not only are the mechanics extremely spot-on, but the hunt for the green eye thingies (I don't play Minecraft at all so forgive my caveman talk >_<) is engaging and... dare I say fun! (Hint: compass and first person can help) It's the second best level in terms of mechanics, although there is a definite winner in that category....

Square Midas: A strong contender for the best level overall. But it certainly takes the cake in terms of atmosphere and general tone. The mechanics in this level are one of a kind! The childish messages constantly tell you what to do in order to complete the level (up until the end, where it all goes 𝙣𝙪𝙩𝙨), and some of the instructions are outright GAMEBREAKING!!! No, seriously, you have to switch video modes between OpenGL and Software to progress, alongside constantly going outside of the game to mess with its files by deleting and creating new ones! It's a phenomenal gameplay twist that really only feels at home in THIS level! The only thing really holding it back from becoming the best level with zero debate is a certain part of the scaling section where you can fall off (but that's only a minor nitpick compared to the oodles of praise I have for this great level). Talk about ending on a high note!

That should be all of the main levels! But before I end this extremely long and in-depth review, I want to give a shout out to one non-campaign level: Hub Building. It may not be the best level in the game, but it's probably my favorite. Seeing Panic (or whichever character you choose to play as in this vast mansion-like 'hub') get increasingly frustrated with the receptionists (and the level, which is a clever representation of the player throughout most of these levels) is funny and well-made, considering the fact that it nearly took me an hour to access the levels. The 5 hubs in this mod are randomized in single player, so you have a pretty good chance of avoiding it. But when you do get it, you might enjoy it is much as I did! (I even got a mildly funny image out of it! ^_^) It may have the WORST maze in the entire pack, but, at least for me, it wasn't enough to stop me from enjoying this!

And that is the end of my essa- er I mean review! I hope you found this review informative and probably humorous! And, to the creator.... You did an awesome job with this! I hope this review made you happy, and in case it doesn't, I personally hope you have a great day anyway! You made this certain part-time modder happy!

The joke of aggressively unpleasant level design wears thin fast, and PANIC doesn't have much to offer beyond that. Only stale memes and cheap, half-hearted laughs await those who can get past the dull, painful gameplay; the only thing that PANIC really has going for it are the scant moments of impressive visuals and coding done by this wad's individually talented contributors. Indeed, there is a trace of something worthwhile in here, but the title of best joke megawad will remain with the homestucks for the foreeable future. Either that, or I just don't get it.

Really bad game but 4 star cause I kinda liked it.

[Review contains spoliers]

I was sort of split here to either put 3 or 4 stars for the map pack until I realized I should have expected to embrace what this map pack is. A pure shitpost, but one with the actual effort here and there.

Personal highlights were the Backrooms and the downright hilarious Smash reference to get punched into a Minecraft bit. Add that with flying Eggmans spinning around the air and you had me going lightheaded and crying for a few minutes until we were thrown into the next bit that required us to snoop around our devices to advance the map. That alone was seriously impressive and had me in awe of what is possible with this engine, and I wish there was more! Alas, what we have here is already top-notch.

Some things that sadly didn't work for me are the exit hunting levels that had the end of the level hidden somewhere obscure. I felt like these jokes weren't well done as they tended to be more frustrating experiences compared to what the rest of the maps have to offer here. I understand that this was rushed and was kind of the point, albeit you can go a long way with well-executed "hahas" as you have already shown your team is capable of bringing that to the poker table, which makes this much more memorable. Please hold on to that concept! This was a blast in netplay!

fucking amazing, i just cheated and used object place in london zone but the fucking square midas is what makes this amazing, it would probably desync netgames but its worth it, the notes that guide you, it tricked me into thinking it was doing some crazy shit like looking in my registry to check i wasnt using calculator, and than to just at the end make the notes have a fucking fit was amazing, i give this mod my highest rating of 8 Michelin whoppers

The Hub Building felt straight out of a British Sitcom, easily my favourite part of the level pack.
London Zone 13, What, Shadow Cellar, Backrooms and the 13 IQ quiz were not cleared. The challenge London Zone 13 appeared to suggest would take at least 30 minutes mundanely pushing anywhere from 1 to 13 statues (from my understanding), so I opted to skip it. I used devmode to skip What as well. Shadow Cellar wasn't engaging. The Backrooms have several unresolved mysteries. I enjoyed going through it for half an hour or so uncovering a bunch of hidden rooms, but running in circles gets old eventually. I didn't clear the quiz because I simply have 12 IQ, but the concept is novel.

Most of these levels were very entertaining and the only reason I'm not giving it 5 stars is because of London Zone 13's insulting premise. At least Shadow Cellar doesn't block progression since it's a bonus level, so it isn't denying me other content. If I fell for it, then consider this 4 star rating a 5.

I very much enjoyed the puzzle like nature of this pack which highlights the different ways this engine can be used, thank you for the experience!

I have left my physical body and ascended to the ones above

you guys are salty that you wasted like 5 hours on this, you should of expected it when you downloaded this wad

meh, i can't understand how you can find this "joke" funny

spent 58 minutes on the building hub, I finally understand the meaning of life and how insanity feels like

jokes aside, it really is what it says on the tin. Yes, its pure BS and unfair death after unfair death - but that's exactly the point. Frankly coming here to complain about this being unfair is a little pointless, you SHOULD know what you're getting yourself into lol.

cant wait for the steph running triquel, wonder how you will obliterate my soul next time

Honestly, i do want to go for the funny joke comment here but after experience with this addon... Is just terrible like really terrible even if is the joke of this addon.

First, wrong exit on a maze? On the second stage? With a random hub which haha also has its own fair share of joke quest without a indication that the hub is randomize every time? Ah, wonderful joke i absolutely love it.

Not to mention that some levels forward has one of the most strangest concept that you don't even know how it works? (Like, Lj's one is actually cool but jeez it took time to notice it). Funny.

I do understand the joke and at first, it did let out a laugh out of me but after a while, it actually made me frustrated and (in my opinion) fails to make the joke actually funny. Obviously, its just me but i do not want to praise this mod anymore even if is an april fools joke (not gonna like, making it terrible to play through pretty much the joke for me)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELAgBaJHsn0

This is one of the worst pk3s I've played in my life.

It takes pride in wasting as much as time as possible whilst peddling the most unfunniest of jokes I've seen in a while.

A minecraft level? Backrooms? A wall of shitposts? Fuckery with portals and horizon linedefs? What were they thinking?

overall 10/10 would recommend

SONIC NONO PANIC IS BACK IN ACTION

HAHAHa FUNNI GA<E