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RUN.

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Or not, if a pak of karters is what you're after. But if you were expecting order or a theme, you have come to the wrong place. Too bad. BUT, some of these guys are a one of a kind! You know what they say, one man's trash is another man's treasue!

So without further interruptions, meet the team! (available as a bundle or separate in the enclosed zip)


Direct from Rhythm Heaven Megamix, Tibby is raring to go! (SPEED: 9,WEIGHT: 1)
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A resident of Heaven World (Heven as he calls it), Tibby forgot to get his driver's permit but decided to kart anyway! His top speed is unlike any other, and he has the best handling to boot!

The funny has arrived; it's metal pipe! (SPEED: 2, WEIGHT: 7)
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Metal_Pipe.mp3 has received several Oscar nominations and the noble prize of 690 B.C., so it earns a spot here! With an expert acceleration and high weight, this...thing gets moving and never stops moving!

The shoebill stork, a.k.a. The W, makes the scene! (SPEED: 6, WEIGHT: 7)
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With a sinister stare of a thousand miles, this bird is mad and will take it out on his opponents! I have zero clue what a real shoebill sounds like, so he makes Angry Birds noises instead! He has a slick top speed and high weight, so you'll have to use your brain without your trusty acceleration and handling (or just brute force it regardless, as that's what I always do!).

Rhythm girl is back, and she's armed this time! (SPEED: 3,WEIGHT: 3)
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With an unsecured pistol, she slides around everywhere, because she prefers not to double down on her criminal record by not driving without a license! It's not like she needs a kart anyway. Shifting more towards acceleration and handling, you CAN be brainless with this one!

From the deepest, darkest corner of the great pizza tower, Fake Peppino is here! (SPEED: 6,WEIGHT: 2)
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Peppino's mentally challenged and liquidized clone is running amuck! His bark is worse than his bite, in the sense that he sounds creepier more than he's good at driving. His top speed is SLIGHTLY above average, but his handling is shockingly good considering the circumstances.

And last and certainly least (but to be fair, any one of these guys could be least)...

Lammy from Um Jammer Lammy is the 2nd most normal organism here, and she's ready to rock! (SPEED: 5, WEIGHT: 4)
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She lacks a driver's permit too, so she is just as dangerous as Rhythm Girl with a gun. She operates the kart the only way she knows how-to treat the wheel like a guitar! (since she at least has flight experience, long story) On the road, though, she is absolutely MID. She has nearly equal stats across the board, so she's your best pick if you are boring and are neither bad at driving nor exceptionally good.

Download and use each of these clowns paperweights war criminals objects today! But remember, with great power comes great electricity bill!
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Certified Joe Moment
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Latest updates

  1. v1.9 update: The impossible

    *It's the moment you've all been waiting for... TIBBY'S WEIGHT HAS BEEN CHANGED TO 1! (HAS ZERO...
  2. v1.8 update: Fixed Tibby's speed

    *Changed the speed value of Tibby from 10 to 9 within the code. This won't actually affect how...
  3. ALSO v1.7 update: New character format

    Sorry, but I actually am able to host the characters individually! I'll provide a zip folder...

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