"First try" is never an excuse.
First, there's no flow. If I can't keep my speed, I'm going to be a sitting duck when the enemy comes.
Second, there's nowhere to go. If I really was going to play this in a netgame, everyone would be smoshed together in one spot.
And third, I can seriously do some amazing things with the horrid iten placement. FYI, use the redsprings to get up to the opposite ledge. >_> Seriously, look at the official levels to get a good idea of item placement. Overpowered item should be hard to get, and rings should be in places that that the player can collect by running in a straight line.
And to finish this off, insert some rant about horrid weapon ring placement that I didn't check because I checked this map through singleplayer. :D