God, this thread is a trainwreck.
Let it be known that Android devices are far more capable than previously considered. Even the video that was linked was on what most likely was just Android 2.x, which you can tell because it still had a physical search and menu button. That video was also made far before SRB2 got the SDL2 port.
So ANY of those 'limitations' you imposed are almost, if not completely, unnecessary.
Windows 8 is not an awful OS, I really can't stand people saying that. This is a very subjective thing, but I am perfectly okay with Windows 8. Yeah, I have a headache once in a while, the system restore points aren't as clear anymore, and there is the OCCASIONAL not-so-stable program, but trust me when I say I know bad OS experiences, and if you have the right hardware, there isn't a damn thing wrong with Windows 8 except that you distinctly hate something in it, like the Metro UI.
And finally, why are you even bothering complaining about Eclipse IDE, when the old IDE is still easily accessible? When developing for Android, you need to realize just how much freedom you have on Linux.
SDL actually has this guide on building an SDL game on Android. And even so,
we have a guide right here on SDL2 and C++ 11 work that was made with Windows in mind, and it was made 10 days ago, meaning Android Studio is still not yet the definitive IDE for Android application development.
Porting SRB2 is a whole ordeal that needs the cooperation of a few other parties, even if you are attempting to port it alone. If you want to go Linux or stay Windows, whatever, but you need to know where you're going with it and how to test it properly.