A personal appeal from Egg Rock founder Dr. Ivo Robotnik

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Dr Ivo Robotnik

Dr Ivo Robotnik

Member
Greetings members of the SRB2 community. I, evil mastermind extraordinaire and antagonist to all living creatures in the world have a humble suggestion to make to ensure the future success of this game.

The removal of all rings.

“Ha-ha, what a ridiculous idea” I hear you scoff, but I have some interesting statistics that may convince the development team to remove all of these golden menaces from ‘the planet’!


  • More than 99% of Badnik vandalism incidents are caused by individuals under the influence of rings
  • 50% of all children who grow up in ring-consuming societies score below average on the Eggman Empire obligatory enrolment exam
  • More than 90% of violent crimes with political intent against the Eggman Empire are committed within 24 hours of collecting rings
  • Rings are made from a substance called “gold.” It has been proven that as little as one ring worth of gold can be used to prevent a Crawla from completing its mission of ‘recruiting’ a citizen to the Eggman Empire
  • Rings have proven to be addictive, fan characters deprived of rings and left in the Egg Rock have begged for rings after only two minutes.
  • Rings are often a “gateway” item, leading to the use of “harder” items as such as power-up monitors, or even emerald tokens!
  • Rings can block machinery
  • The nature of rings are unknown and may be powered by an ancient evil force that could overpower me at the final stage of the game, causing the hedgehog to fight an unrelated final boss when he turns super during the final boss. That would be disappointing for everybody!
  • Rings are used as a symbol of the Olympics which forbids the robotic denizens of the Eggman Empire from participating, this is blatant racism against the good people of Robotnik-land!
  • Most ring collectors are ignorant fools and are unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
With these fighting facts presented to the SRB2 community, I present the following suggestions that may prevent future children from being corrupted by these foul and sinister objects!


  • All rings removed from SRB2
  • All ring-monitors removed from SRB2
  • No pro-ring propaganda to be allowed in any of the zones with badniks residing in them.
  • A 300% tax on the import of any health providing power-ups from outside games, in order to prevent this serious issue from repeating itself.
  • For good measure, punish those who dare collect Special Stage tokens by putting them in Special Stage 7, without any rings to collect!
With this news spread to the good people of the SRB2 community, I trust immediate action shall be taken to remove the looming menace of the ring! Thank you.

- Dr. Ivo Robotnik
 
400px-Trollface.jpg
 
Yeah, lol.

But... I guess someone could create a level pack removing all of the rings?
 
Hey everyone! Unless you have something humorous to say, please don't say anything or the thread will be ruined for everybody.

And because I have nothing to add, I will now sit back and enjoy the course of events.
 
Dr Ivo Robotnik said:
The removal of all rings.
Click to expand...

Thank you very much for bringing this to the attention of us, the players. I for one had no idea rings were such a high-risk item. I can't even begin to express my gratitude for your concern towards our well being. I'm sure this isn't enough to make an impact, but I will remove all rings from present and future bases I construct.
 
Dr. Ivo Robotnik,

While I understand your proposal on the removal of all rings and ring boxes, I think there may be an even more dubious scheme wonderful plan that can be implemented. Instead of removing rings, I propose that you create a goodnik (everything you make is good, isn't it?) that mimics the rings themselves.

This way, instead of forcefully taking away some certain woodland creatures' rings, you will instead lead them to stop wanting rings on their own. How is this possible you ask? Imagine this: you go to pick up a ring, but it instead bites you in the face. Now, after experiencing this several times, wouldn't you willingly give up rings? I'd assume so. In new SRB2, ring gets you. I think this is a much more efficient way to get the job done.

PS: I've already created a mode without any rings, and there have been some pesky players who have gotten by just fine without them.

Always loyal,
- Ultimate
 
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Greetings Doctor Robotnik, I'm sure this day is as good as any other for a brilliant man such as yourself. You bring up an interesting proposal and I hope that STJr will be able to accommodate any reasonable demands. However, I must remind of a few other facts that you must take into consideration.


  • Ring-deprivation is the single most common cause of death among woodland critters
  • Ring consumption has been observed to be healthy not only amongst woodland critters, but also among more sophisticated badniks.
  • Rings are the most basic form of currency in most nations around the world, including, at the time of this writing, Eggman Empire.
  • Several large establishments vital to the global economy and necessary for any stable global empire rely on the use of rings in various casinos and carnivals throughout the world.
  • Significant volumes research show that rings are twice as efficient as coins, rupees, and bananas combined.
  • Additionally, rings are easy to store, fitting cleanly into hammerspace no matter where they are, while rupees require large wallets, bananas form unsightly hoards, and coins get lodged inside structures.
  • A generator running on as many as fifty rings provide power equal to or greater than that of a nuclear reactor running on an equivalent volume of fuel.
I hope you will take these points into consideration, and take some time to revise your proposal before you present it to my superiors. My best regards, doctor.

---

Ultimate, I do hope you haven't forgotten to respond to the concerns of my superiors. You still haven't paid the requisite fees for this alleged "alternate mode" and yet they are being distributed without any sanctioned representation on the official menus. Please rectify this situation at your earliest convenience.
 
Good evening Doctor, I do hope you have been well since our last encounter. It is always and honour for the good Doctor Robotnik grace us with his presence.

As a representative of Sonic Team Junior, I would like to humbly welcome you back to the board, and I assure you we will consider* your ideas for our next release.

Though, as JEV3 stated above, you must please consider that while we do not like to disadvantage or displease our clients, especially one as finely paying as yourself, we must also consider the woodland critters, as ring-deprivation is current a very serious crisis, as there have been sightings of a blue critter that runs at high speeds stealing every ring he or she can find, and we have so far been powerless to stop them. To further increase the deprivation would have a rather negative effect on our reputation and would most likely increase our CO-Ring Footprint.

We would also like to take this opportunity to ensure you are happy with the previous work on your 'Egg Rock' we did last year for you, as we have not had any testimonial from you and would be very pleased if you could provide us with one, allowing us to add the work we did for you to our portfolio, as we believe it to be one of our finer pieces.

Furthermore, we would like to thank you for outsourcing the operation and management of the OmegaCrawla Master Server Game Listing System to us, and we hope you have been pleased with the numerous improvements we have made to the system to improve the experience for everyone. You may notice we introduced a Casual room, allowing the critters to play their Role Playing Games and therefore providing them with something to distract them from causing you any problems.

Best Regards,
Cue, STJr Representative ID Q61-x86

* While we will consider your ideas, we will most likely ignore them.
 
Hold on...I notice something abnormal about that post.

EDIT: I know! It's the topic smiley that you have!
Why do you admins get a topic smiley to choose from...
 
Nicely said, everyone. Alongside what all the others said, if there were no rings, how would the levels glitter and sparkle as much? Oh, I know! You could add an extra gallon of Shine-On to your badniks. They're already shiny enough as it is, but you could make the level sparkle more if you added more Shine-On.
 
Good day Doctor! I have read your thoughs on "ring removal" and I must say, that is a rather hard task to those who don't know the wonders of the F3 command in the "Magical World Builder" program dubbed SRB2 Doom Builder. I would rather think it would be better if you set out each robot in the Zones to put on the same stuff (spray? special arrmor? who knows what your brilliant mind can come up with) you put on your robots that make them hurt hedgehogs that run into them.

While this may be time consuming it will be much easier since all you have to do is use the Sonic Object Config, aka S.O.C, Editor to change a simple thing called "Item Flags". That way, even the newest of newbies can do it without having to split open The M.W.B and take the rings out one by one. And for the monitors? SIMPLE! recode them to give out the same effect as your Eggman Monitor!

See, you don't HAVE to remove them, just CHANGE them!

-KO.T.E
 
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