Okay, so it's a bit of a necrobump but since people loved it last time I did this I figured it wouldn't hurt to do it again. Long story short, I recently played my first few proper deathmatches in Doom, via 4-way splitscreen on the 360 version, and simply put I'm surprised at how much of a different experience it is to the singleplayer episodes. Where SP is more about conserving ammo, rationing health and armour and generally playing the sole survivor, multiplayer... well, it's not so much about who wins or loses, but how many hapless ******s you take down with you. It certaintly ain't perfect, what with repeated instances of rocket-launcher spawn camping, but I kinda miss multiplayer games that have this sort of intensity. Even the average Unreal Tournament doesn't really compare, and that's one of the most twitchy, fast paced games out there.
But erm, moving on. Forgot the name of the map we were playing on (I know it had a bezerker pack across an acid lake with one large disappearing platform), but that's a bit besides the point anyways. Most of the fighting went between rocket launchers, chainguns and the occasional plasma rifle, kind of the expected stuff at this point. I was in the lead at this point (thanks mostly to aformentioned RL camping), but by that point it was still anyone's game and I imagine anyone could've caught up given the circumstances. Unfortunately for everyone else, I found the chainsaw.
Now, anyone who remembers my previous
bezerker melee fetish can probably already see vaugely where this is going, but this was a different case - whereas the Grav Hammer was more about jumping suicidally into a big crowd and taking a big chunk of them out with one swing, Doom's chainsaw was more about appearing suddenly from around a corner and RAAAAAAAAAHGDHAGSDHHAGKS scaring the crap out of them until their screen turns red and they can't see ****. It honestly came as a surprise how useful the bloody thing is in multiplayer, considering in SP it only really consistently works against Imps and Pinkies, and even then you still have to watch your flank.
So anyway, several minutes of Texas Chainsaw Massacre later, I was only one kill away from winning the match. The only two people I still knew the location of decided to call truce and were camping out in a dead end room filled with health and plenty of energy cells - and as luck would have it, both of them had Plasma Guns, and I'd already learned the hard way I wouldn't be able to get them in a straight gunfight. So I decided I'd go back to the psychological approach: "You know what, this isn't working", I said out aloud. "I'll be back in a minute. With a
present."
Now let's pause for a moment and let that sink in for a bit, by looking from the camper's perspective. By the time it likely took you to catch on, I'll have probably ran to and from your traitor-friendly safe room, and you'd likely hear the iconic, familiar whirring of a nasty melee weapon on the other side of that door. Suddenly, the door springs open, and both of you unload into the opening. But nobody's there. All of a sudden, dead silence sinks in. All you can hear is the ringing in your ears as an aftereffect to the sound of gunfire. The tension's still there, and you strain further, ready for just about anything that comes through that door... or so you think. Slowly but surely, the ringing fades, and just softly you recognise the familiar whirring of the chainsaw just around the corne
ADADADADADADDAPEANUTBUTTERJELLYPICKLECUCUMBERSANDWICHES
You can probably imagine the terror that set in. They didn't even bother shooting - no, all they cared about at this point is escaping with their heads intact. One of them dashed madly past me just as I entered the room and managed to escape. That didn't bother me, all I needed was one. After chasing a black doomguy around in circles in the room for a few seconds, he made a break for the door, only to have it shut in his face. And this guy was *******
frantic - you could tell, because he was mashing the A button and accidentally opening and closing the door several times. Somehow he actually managed to get out, but not before taking a few nicks on the back with the chainsaw on the way out.
Now around this point is where the game stopped being a deathmatch and warped into some demented racing game. It was also the point that the room broke into absolute goddamned
chaos - between the laughing and cheering of his buddies, the constant "ohgodohgodohgodohgod" of the black guy I was chasing, and of course my own deafening warcries of "RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN COOOOOOOOOWAAAAAAAAAAAARD", the chatter just broke into a complete cluster**** and the only real communication that existed anymore was limited to running, opening doors and chainsawing. We freakin'
sprinted straight into the room opposite, which too was a dead end save for the fact that it was set up like a circle, and once again we ended up running goddamned
laps of the room until he realized he wasn't getting anywhere and made for the door again, which once again had closed in his face. Through the chaos you could still here him muttering "comeoncomeoncomeonCOMEON" as the door slowly opened, despite me having not ceased in maniacal jibberish since this whole farce had started. Honestly, the way this thing was going I felt like I was playing a cross between a stereotypical horror movie and a Benny Hill sequence. Finally, the door opened and it looked as though he might actually get away this time. No such luck I'm afraid - chainsaw to the back, gore, screen melts away, endgame stats are displayed.
Game. Over.
My god, you just had to be there. It was freaking
epic.
