Dear [Username] Bigboi ;
I am posting this in reply to a message posted by you in this thread, and
instead of continuing a civil conversation I have decided to flame you.
I am flaming you because:
[X] I can
[X] I disagree with your stated opinion
[X] I don't like the tone of your message
[ ] I need to ridicule others to validate myself and/or my opinions
[X] I need Troll Game(tm) points
[ ] You bumped an old topic without adding anything useful
[ ] You continued a long, stupid thread with a long, stupid message
[ ] You dated my sibling
[ ] You don't know which forum to post in
[ ] You haven't read the FAQ
[X] You posted
[ ] False information
[ ] A "me > u" message
[ ] An "All your base" reference
[ ] A message with needless Religious overtones
[ ] A message containing "1337 talk"
[ ] A racist message
[ ] An accusation with no proof
[X] An unprovoked, worthlessly offensive message
[ ] A "YOU ALL SUCK" message
[ ] Without bothering to read or understand what has already been said
[X] Something totally uninteresting
[ ] Nothing in particular, just posted
[ ] You provoked me because you flamed me first
[ ] You double/triple posted instead of using the edit feature
[ ] YOU POSTED A MESSAGE ALL WRITTEN IN CAPS
[ ] You have not stopped posting yet
[ ] Yuo mispeled evry sengle wurd
[ ] You failed to use proper punctuation, capitalization and/or grammar
[ ] You just plain suck
[ ] You shared an intimate relationship with my house pet/automotive vehicle/favorite house plant
[ ] You agree with the opinion of someone I already dislike
[ ] You reminded me of something I said previously that contradicts my current argument
[ ] You mentioned my name, and I percieved it as a threat regardless of context
[ ] You tried to end this discussion by invoking Godwin's Law
[X] You said you were leaving but you're still here
[ ] You use the color/bold/underline tags excessively
[ ] You filled out one of these forms and directed it at me
[ ] You mentioned someone or something of which I am affiliated/associated, and I
percieved it as a threat regardless of context
In retaliation, I:
[ ] Compare you to a part of the human anatomy
[ ] Compare your message and/or general opinions to fecal matter
[ ] Invoke Godwin's Law
[ ] Give your AIM/YIM/MSN/E-mail account to others to organize a warn/flood attack you
[ ] Have contacted my lawyer seeking monetary damages for Libel/Defamation/Emotional pain
[ ] Have contacted your ISP asking them to cancel/suspend your account
[ ] Have located your home/office address and have begun signing you up for junk mail
[X] Will abuse my powers as a Moderator/Administrator to silence you
[ ] Will create multiple accounts under different names to continue flaming you after being banned
[ ] WILL TYPE IN ALL CAPS
[X] Shall continue posting to spite you
[ ] Consider your education
[ ] Nonexistant
[ ] Incomplete
[ ] Incorrect
[X] Accuse you of perverse sexual acts
[ ] With yourself
[ ] With a member or members of your immediate family
[X] With inanimate object
[ ] With house pet(s)
[X] Mock your
[ ] Efforts/accomplishments
[X] Social status
[ ] Spelling
[ ] Native country
[ ] Religion
[ ] Lifestyle
[ ] Political Ideals
[X] Sexual identity and/or preference in partners
[X] Recommend
[ ] Medication
[ ] Corrective surgery
[ ] Institutionalization
[ ] Euthanasia
[ ] Getting a life
[ ] A prolonged hiatus from this forum
[X] That an administrator cancel/suspend your account
[ ] Propose that
[ ] You are filled with fecal matter
[ ] You are of sub-average intelligence/physical ability
[ ] Various parts of your body are abnormally small/large
[ ] You, your parents or siblings are sexually permiscuous
[ ] You are afflicted with a genetic disorder
[ ] Your parents are related
[ ] You are a paedophile
[ ] You are a terrorist
[ ] You are a Nazi/Facist
[ ] You are a Republican
[ ] You are a "Grammar Nazi"
[ ] Smear/soak you in
[ ] Feces
[ ] Urine
[ ] Semen
[ ] Saliva
[ ] Blood
[ ] Kerosene
[ ] Tabasco sauce
[ ] Hydrochloric Acid
[X] Will contact/conjure/discover
[ ] Long-term friends of mine who will continue to flame you on my behalf
[ ] An "expert" who agrees with my opinions
[X] A website that refutes your opinions
[ ] A definition in the dictionary that makes you look stupid for using a word wrong
[ ] My own forum/list/blog where I can mock you without fear of retribution
[ ] An associate/affiliate who is someone IMPORTANT who can do BAD THINGS to you
I feel that:
[X] By flaming at you, I can make you stop posting
[ ] You are a Nazi/Facist/Dictator
[ ] You are abusing your powers as a Moderator/Administrator
[ ] I am right
[ ] I am intrinsically better than you in every way
[ ] I make more money than you
[ ] I am under no obligation to prove anything to you
[ ] My opinion is more valuable than yours
[ ] You are not civilized enough to post in these forums
[X] You have committed crimes against pork biproducts
[ ] You all suck
[ ] Your spouse/significant other is
[ ] Related to you
[ ] Of a different species
[ ] Nonexistant
As proof of my credability, I:
[X] Will use the color/bold/underline tags excessively
[ ] Have been banned from other forums/lists/blogs that share your opinion
[X] Have a website that
[X] Has a forum
[ ] Has been featured on cruel.com
[ ] Has been featured on crank.net
[X] I made all by myself
[ ] Uses the <blink> tag
[X] Have been cited as an expert by
[ ] Other websites/forums/blogs
[ ] The National Enquirer
[ ] Weekly World News
[X] Several sources I can/will not disclose at this time
[X] Have written articles published in
[X] Other websites/forums/blogs
[ ] The National Enquirer
[ ] Weekly World News
[ ] Adult magazines
As punishment, you should:
[ ] Give up your AOL Internet account
[ ] STFU & GTFO
[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
[X] Actually post something relevant
[ ] Read the ******* FAQ
[ ] Go to your room with no supper
[X] Apologize to everybody on this forum
[ ] Go stand in the middle of a Highway
[ ] Recite the Greek alphabet backwards
[ ] Take a bath in bleach
[ ] Drink out of a spittoon/toilet
[ ] Grind a rail on your scrotum
[X] Be forced to watch a 72-hour "Hamtaro" Marathon
[ ] Eat/suck/lick my
[ ] Ass
[ ] Genitals
[ ] Feet
[ ] Back
[ ] Grandmother
[ ] House pet
[ ] All of the above
In Closing, I'd Like to Say:
[ ] All your base are belong to me
[ ] QED
[ ] 1 R 1337
[ ] Pwned
[ ] GG no re
[ ] Get a life
[ ] Me > u
[X] Never post again
[ ] I pity your dog
[ ] Go to hell
[ ] I'm leaving!
[ ] ...and this time I really mean it!
[X] Go back under your rock
[ ] Your IQ must be 7
[ ] Take your **** somewhere else
[ ] STFU & GTFO
[ ] Learn to post or **** off
[ ] Go jump into some industrial equipment
[X] STFU botter
[ ] RTFM/STFW
[ ] "...and the horse you rode in on!"
[ ] All of the above
