Flame Form

Dear [Username] KingofFlames ;

I am posting this in reply to a message posted by you in [this/another] thread, and
instead of continuing a civil conversation I have decided to flame you.


I am flaming you because:

[X] I can
[ ] I disagree with your stated opinion
[X] I don't like the tone of your message
[X] I need to ridicule others to validate myself and/or my opinions
[X] I need Troll Game(tm) points
[ ] You bumped an old topic without adding anything useful
[ ] You continued a long, stupid thread with a long, stupid message
[ ] You dated my sibling
[ ] You don't know which forum to post in
[ ] You haven't read the FAQ
[X] You posted
    [ ] False information
    [ ] A "me > u" message
    [ ] An "All your base" reference
    [ ] A message with needless Religious overtones
    [ ] A message containing "1337 talk"
    [ ] A racist message
    [ ] An accusation with no proof
    [ ] An unprovoked, worthlessly offensive message
    [ ] A "YOU ALL SUCK" message
    [ ] Without bothering to read or understand what has already been said
    [X] Something totally uninteresting
    [ ] Nothing in particular, just posted
[ ] You provoked me because you flamed me first
[ ] You double/triple posted instead of using the edit feature
[ ] YOU POSTED A MESSAGE ALL WRITTEN IN CAPS
[ ] You have not stopped posting yet
[ ] Yuo mispeled evry sengle wurd
[ ] You failed to use proper punctuation, capitalization and/or grammar
[X] You just plain suck
[X] You shared an intimate relationship with my house pet/automotive vehicle/favorite house plant
[ ] You agree with the opinion of someone I already dislike
[ ] You reminded me of something I said previously that contradicts my current argument
[X] You mentioned my name, and I percieved it as a threat regardless of context
[ ] You tried to end this discussion by invoking Godwin's Law
[ ] You said you were leaving but you're still here
[ ] You use the color/bold/underline tags excessively
[ ] You filled out one of these forms and directed it at me
[ ] You mentioned someone or something of which I am affiliated/associated, and I
    percieved it as a threat regardless of context



In retaliation, I:

[ ] Compare you to a part of the human anatomy
[X] Compare your message and/or general opinions to fecal matter
[ ] Invoke Godwin's Law
[ ] Give your AIM/YIM/MSN/E-mail account to others to organize a warn/flood attack you
[X] Have contacted my lawyer seeking monetary damages for Libel/Defamation/Emotional pain
[X] Have contacted your ISP asking them to cancel/suspend your account
[ ] Have located your home/office address and have begun signing you up for junk mail
[X] Will abuse my powers as a Moderator/Administrator to silence you
[ ] Will create multiple accounts under different names to continue flaming you after being banned
[X] WILL TYPE IN ALL CAPS
[ ] Shall continue posting to spite you
[ ] Consider your education
    [ ] Nonexistant
    [ ] Incomplete
    [ ] Incorrect
[X] Accuse you of perverse sexual acts
    [X] With yourself
    [ ] With a member or members of your immediate family
    [ ] With inanimate object
    [ ] With house pet(s)
[X] Mock your
    [ ] Efforts/accomplishments
    [X] Social status
    [ ] Spelling
    [ ] Native country
    [ ] Religion
     [ ] Lifestyle
    [ ] Political Ideals
    [X] Sexual identity and/or preference in partners
[X] Recommend 
    [ ] Medication
    [ ] Corrective surgery
    [ ] Institutionalization
    [ ] Euthanasia
    [X] Getting a life
    [ ] A prolonged hiatus from this forum
    [X] That an administrator cancel/suspend your account
[X] Propose that
    [ ] You are filled with fecal matter
    [X] You are of sub-average intelligence/physical ability
    [ ] Various parts of your body are abnormally small/large
    [ ] You, your parents or siblings are sexually permiscuous
    [ ] You are afflicted with a genetic disorder
    [ ] Your parents are related
    [ ] You are a paedophile
    [ ] You are a terrorist
    [ ] You are a Nazi/Facist
    [ ] You are a Republican
    [ ] You are a "Grammar Nazi"
[ ] Smear/soak you in
    [ ] Feces
    [ ] Urine
    [ ] Semen
    [ ] Saliva
    [ ] Blood
    [ ] Kerosene
    [ ] Tabasco sauce
    [ ] Hydrochloric Acid
[X] Will contact/conjure/discover
    [ ] Long-term friends of mine who will continue to flame you on my behalf
    [X] An "expert" who agrees with my opinions
    [ ] A website that refutes your opinions
    [ ] A definition in the dictionary that makes you look stupid for using a word wrong
    [X] My own forum/list/blog where I can mock you without fear of retribution
    [ ] An associate/affiliate who is someone IMPORTANT who can do BAD THINGS to you



I feel that:

[ ] By flaming at you, I can make you stop posting
[ ] You are a Nazi/Facist/Dictator
[ ] You are abusing your powers as a Moderator/Administrator
[ ] I am right
[X] I am intrinsically better than you in every way
[ ] I make more money than you
[ ] I am under no obligation to prove anything to you
[X] My opinion is more valuable than yours
[ ] You are not civilized enough to post in these forums
[ ] You have committed crimes against pork biproducts
[X] You all suck
[X] Your spouse/significant other is
    [ ] Related to you
    [ ] Of a different species
    [X] Nonexistant



As proof of my credability, I:

[ ] Will use the color/bold/underline tags excessively
[ ] Have been banned from other forums/lists/blogs that share your opinion
[X] Have a website that
    [X] Has a forum
    [ ] Has been featured on cruel.com
    [ ] Has been featured on crank.net
    [X] I made all by myself
    [ ] Uses the < blink > tag
[ ] Have been cited as an expert by
    [ ] Other websites/forums/blogs
    [ ] The National Enquirer
    [ ] Weekly World News
    [ ] Several sources I can/will not disclose at this time
[ ] Have written articles published in
    [ ] Other websites/forums/blogs
    [ ] The National Enquirer
    [ ] Weekly World News
    [ ] Adult magazines



As punishment, you should:

[ ] Give up your AOL Internet account
[ ] STFU & GTFO
[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
[X] Actually post something relevant
[ ] Read the f****** FAQ
[ ] Go to your room with no supper
[ ] Apologize to everybody on this forum
[ ] Go stand in the middle of a Highway
[ ] Recite the Greek alphabet backwards
[ ] Take a bath in bleach
[ ] Drink out of a spittoon/toilet
[ ] Grind a rail on your scrotum
[X] Be forced to watch a 72-hour "Hamtaro" Marathon
[ ] Eat/suck/lick my
    [ ] Ass
    [ ] Genitals
    [ ] Feet
    [ ] Back
    [ ] Grandmother
    [ ] House pet

[ ] All of the above



In Closing, I'd Like to Say:

[ ] All your base are belong to me
[ ] QED
[ ] 1 R 1337
[ ] Pwned
[ ] GG no re
[ ] Get a life
[X] Me > u
[ ] Never post again
[ ] I pity your dog
[ ] Go to hell
[ ] I'm leaving!
    [ ] ...and this time I really mean it!
[ ] Go back under your rock
[ ] Your IQ must be 7
[ ] Take your s*** somewhere else
[ ] STFU & GTFO
[ ] Learn to post or f*** off
[X] Go jump into some industrial equipment
[ ] STFU botter
[ ] RTFM/STFW
[X] "...and the horse you rode in on!"
[ ] All of the above

[ ] I need Troll Game(tm) points