Oh, where to begin... I suppose I'll try chronological order.
When I was 4, my parents worked during the day and my brother had school, so I ended up spending most of my mornings over at my grandma's house. She had about 20 cats that just roamed the neighborhood, among them my favorite one was a black and brown one named Callie Sue. Well, one day while I was playing outside with Callie Sue, I saw a bucket full of a clear liquid that I could only assume was water. So, I decided I was going to try to teach her how to swim, despite not knowing how to swim myself at the time. I picked her up and carried her over to the bucket and dropped her in, and obviously she wasn't too happy about that. I got scratched a few times and she knocked the bucket over, then took off running. The liquid started making my scratches sting, so naturally I started crying. My aunt came out and saw me drenched, scratched, and crying while standing next to the over-turned bucket. She sounded a little panicked and quickly got my cousin to come out and take me to the bathroom to wash me off. A few minutes later my aunt comes in with Callie Sue and starts washing her off in the sink. She then asks me what I was doing, and I explained that I was trying to teach the cat how to swim. She then tells me that the bucket wasn't full of water, but instead it was oil.
Another story, I can't remember exactly how old I was when this happened, probably 4-6... Anyways, I was going fishing with my dad and my brother, and while we were driving to the lake, I made the claim that I was going to catch 25 fish today. They both kinda gave a small laugh, my dad giving sort of a sarcastic encouragement. You know, the kind you give a kid so that you don't stomp all over their hopes even though you know it's not going to happen. Anyways, we get to the lake and I pull out my little Mickey Mouse fishing rod, and we start fishing. Soon enough, I start making some catches, counting each one as I get them. Fast forward a couple of hours, I'm starting to get near my goal of 25. Both my dad and my brother are in disbelief; they're starting to think I might actually pull it off. I eventually get my 25th fish, put down my rod, and say "I'm done."
When I was about 6 or 7, my cousin (a different one, only a year older than I am) was over at my house. We were both kinda bored, until one of us came up with what seemed like a great idea at the time: we decided we were going to make our own roadblock. So we went outside and down into the woods and started grabbing whatever trash we could find, then pulled it all out into the middle of the street. After about 10 or 20 minutes of work, we had a line of trash spanning all the way across the road. We climbed up a tree in front of my house and waited for cars to come. It wasn't a very busy road, we only saw about 3 cars. They all slowed down to a stop when they saw the trash, sat there for about a minute, backed up into our driveway, then turned around and left. Eventually my dad came out to see what we were doing and saw the roadblock. Needless to say he wasn't too happy. He made us clean it up then sent my cousin home.
Another one from about 6 or 7, fishing related again too... I was with my brother, my dad, and some of his friends fishing off the side of some pond or lake. I was standing near my dad watching him when he told me I should back away so that he doesn't accidently catch me. I moved a little bit away, but still stayed rather near. A few minutes later he went to cast his line and caught me right in the face with his hook. I started freaking out while Dad and my brother laughed. He came over and pulled it out, then told me to move away so I don't get caught again.
Probably one of my most embarassing ones... When I was 8 my parents were going through a divorce, and my mom had already moved out of the house. My dad's new girlfriend and her kids were staying with us at the time. Well, most of her kids were teenagers, and like most 8 year old kids, I idolized teenagers; they were the coolest people ever. Well, over the course of that summer, they began camping out in the backyard on the trampoline, and they'd invite some of their friends from high school over as well. Naturally, I wanted to join them; so I went out back one night and asked if I could camp out too. It was an assortment of high school guys and girls, mostly 15-17 years old. Most of the guys were against me camping out, but the girls all thought I was so adorable and cute, so to make them happy, the guys decided to let me stay. They told me they were playing a game called Dare or Double Dare. Basically it was like Truth or Dare, but without the Truth option. If you chose Dare, you got to choose between two dares, if you chose Double Dare, you only got one options. Seems kinda backwards if you think about it the wrong way, but whatever. Anyways, being the new player, they decided to make me go first. So, wanting to prove to the teenagers just how cool and hardcore I was, I chose Double Dare. They dared me to strip naked and run one lap around the house; I guess they figured I'd chicken out and they'd be able to make me go back inside. Unfortunately for them, I had no shame, and I was still determined to show them how cool I could be. So I stripped my clothes off and ran my lap, making absolutely no attempt to cover myself. I made it back around and hopped back up on the trampoline; they were all laughing, I'm not sure if it was because I actually did their dare or if I just looked funny. Either way, I was allowed to stay and we continued the game. Pretty much every dare from here on out had something to do with nudity. The guys were probably just using the game as an excuse to get the girls naked. I continued camping out with them throughout most of the summer, continuing the game with the same sorts of dares. My dad's girlfriend told him about what I was doing, but he didn't believe it; I had always been such a good kid who always followed the rules. Unfortunately he caught me a few weeks later when he came home from work early. I wasn't allowed to camp out with them any more after that. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Unfortunately that's probably the last time I'll ever be that close to naked teenage girls without getting arrested. :(
When I was about 9 or 10, I was at my other grandma's house with 3 of my cousins (One of them was the one from the 3rd story). Me and my cousin from the other story were in the backyard when we found this big sheet of glass. We decided to haul it up on top of the nearby storage building and prop it up by putting bricks at the bottom of both sides of it. We then got a small bucket and filled it with rocks from the driveway, then climbed on top of the roof with it. We called our other two cousins to come out, and when they did we started throwing the rocks at them. They retaliated by grabbing rocks out of the driveway and throwing them back at us. We used the glass as a shield (dumb idea, I know) while they threw their rocks, then would come out from behind it and throw our own rocks at them. This continued for about 5 minutes until our grandma came out and saw us. She made us get down off the roof and bring the glass with us. Amazingly, it had held together despite taking hits from all of the rocks our other two cousins threw at us. So we carried it down and were gently setting it down where we found it when it suddenly shattered into hundreds of pieces. It stood up against rocks being thown at it, but shattered when it barely touched the ground.
In 5th grade, we had this thing on the playground at school that was basically a handle attached to this track above it that allowed it to slide back and forth. You were apparently supposed to grab the handle, push off the side of the poll, and glide to the other side. Well, some of the kids on the playground wanted to see how fast you could glide across it. So I reached up and grabbed the handle, then about 3 guys came running at me and pushed me as hard as they could. I slid all the way to the other side in about 1 second, but when it suddenly stopped at the end I had too much momentum; I lost my grip and went flying off into the sand. A bunch of people came rushing over to see if I was okay. I was a bit disoriented, couldn't stand up without losing my balance, and had a sharp pain in my shoulder, but otherwise I was fine. I thought I might've broken it, but it turns out it was only bruised.
I can't really think of any from about 11 to 16. I'm sure they exist, I just can't think of any right now. I'll add them if I come up with some.
A few years ago when we were moving #srb2fun to EsperNet, a banned user decided to pay us a visit. So, like any good admin, I was going to ban him. Unfortunately, I didn't click his name before I hit the ban button and ended up banning myself. Needless to say, many people got a good laugh out of that one. I quickly unbanned myself, rejoined, and banned the evader.