Alright, pussies. Lemme fuck you up with some truth.
People have been saying the game's boring. How the fuck could that be? You have solid, mindless, classic-style combat, GOOD vehicle sections (better than Half-Life 2), platforming, puzzles, and interactive stuff (that boost your ego, giving an incentive to screw around in levels) out the
asshole.
People have been saying the graphics are bad. That may be, but that's because you're playing the PS3/360 because you're
an idiot, and also a bad person. The PC version allows you to change your FOV, Depth of Field, AA, all that good shit. Besides, the fuck do you expect from a game with assets from as early as 2006?
People,
IGN in particular, have been saying the sound is weak. Dunno how that is; there's like 8 different versions of Grabbag (including a muzak version that plays in elevators), some great original music (particularly the ambient and battle music during the Ghost Town), and some great one-liners. During the said Ghost Town (named Morningwood, with a western theme), Duke referenced Deliverance after killing a pig by saying "Squeal, piggy." After I killed
another pig, he said "Squeal harder next time." Tip of the iceberg with that shit, though; plenty of other great one-liners and easter eggs (including ones referencing Shadow Warrior!).
People (moreso the Duke fans than critics) have been saying that the regenerative health and 2-weapon limit don't fit the game. They work just fine. There are weapons
everywhere, and you still have to deliver the goods to stay alive (Especially in multiplayer, where the regen health works to the game's advantage really well; it serves only to get you back to 100%
after a fight. There's no coming out of battles alive without killing someone, and no having to hunt for health afterward). The only problem is the 2-weapon limit effects the exploration of the game (which is a lot less linear than people make it out to be; while there's only one exit to levels, you're rewarded more often than not for taking a look around or taking a right when you need to take a left). If I find a hidden goodie, I don't want to have to skip it because I want to hold onto my shotgun and Duke's gold M1911, pretty much wasting the secret.
Other than that (and the often-laggy multiplayer which is fun regardless), the game is
great. The critics just have their heads too far up their asses to not take it so fucking seriously.
Always bet on Duke.
